How to be your true self.

Growing up as a child you are surrounded by influencers, whether it is your family, friends or the media. As you grow, you learn through life and find out who you are. You look to people that you know, see how they act, what they wear, what they eat and what they do.

Back when I was a child there was no social media, you could only be influenced by the people around you or what you might have seen occasionally on tv or magazines. Social Media appeared when I was a teenager and it came about sites like Myspace, Bebo and MSN. They were the go to places to talk with friends, express yourself through profiles and music choices.

You could not help to compare yourself to what you saw, heard or lived. Parents would teach you how to behave around people – to a certain degree it would help with personal growth to go out into the outside world.

The only way you can be happy with yourself, is to stop comparing yourself to others. You are and individual with your own set of unique talents and passions. Focusing on yourself and strengthening those passions and talents will only help build the foundation of your own joy.

I grew up being very shy and quiet. I would never speak my mind because of the fear of how I would be perceived by others. That they would hate me for being different. It was only when I went to college did I embrace my true self. This freedom to be me boosted my confidence and happiness exponentially. By being true to my values, truths and personality, I felt as I blossomed into the person that for years I feared to be.

No one can be friends with everyone. Friends will come and go through life. Drifting apart, each growing to find their true self. You will meet people who will strive to make themselves feel better by bringing you down.

Get rid of these toxic people in your life. They are not your friends if they make you feel bad about being yourself, Emotional abuse is something that happens often in any relationship. These people will treat you badly, blame you for everything and anything – even if it is not your fault. They will make you believe that you will not be able to make any other friends. These kind of people are bullies and not your friend.

I had a person in primary school who acted just like that. Made be believe I was worthless unless I was her friend. She bullied me and I did not know that I could get out of the situation. Not until others saw how badly I was being treated did they step in. Oh boy, was I glad that they did. It was even tough being a ten year old.

Stand your ground and fight for who you are.

I try to be kind and nice to everyone. Obviously it is much more difficult to implement this when you are faced with toxic, selfish and mean people. Killing with kindness does work to a certain degree. But, as long as you stay true to yourself you will know who is worth the effort.

Good friends are there for you no matter what; to build you up when you are feeling down, to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on, help you become a better version of yourself and have fun making enjoying great experiences together. These types of people are the best as they only want what is best for you to have a happy life.

Life is very short and time flies by so quickly. Make each second count on things that add to your life. Learn from mistakes or experiences that will only add to your growth.

In conclusion,

• Stop comparing
• Focus on your passions and talents
• Surround yourself with good people
• Do more of what makes you happy
• Be kind and take no shit